Because I Should...

That's why I should be the Next Food Blog Star, because I should. Because I'm better than the rest. Because I said so. I suppose the judges may not just take my word for it though. This would be an extremely fun competition for me if they did.

If you are a regular reader of my blog you can tell this is not a normal post. It is my first entry into Project Food Blog, which I've spoken of on my Facebook page. If you don't know what it is, and want to, then Click Here, if not just click the vote button on the right and we'll call it good.

Restaurant reviews are my particular specialty, and nothing will change that. But I'm a little different than most food critics. While most "critics" are actually chef groupies who just want to be as admired as the chefs they admire themselves, I have no interest in personal glory. My photo will never appear attached to my blog. Arguably, with just a little digging anyone could find my face, but I don't want it to be readily available. In the event I advance to the video challenge, I am already developing creative ways to hide my identity. My full name never even appears in connection with this blog or my Foodbuzz profile.

My reviewing repertoire ranges from flagrantly flavorless fast food to succulent and savory superstar chef selections. I have eaten the best fast food burger and the worst pasta dishes known to man just to tell my loyal (because I force my friends to read it) readership whether they should eat it or not. From Asian to Yemeni (sorry, I couldn't come up with a "z" nationality or style) there is no cuisine too high-brow and haughty, nor too low-brow and naughty, for me to dive into headlong.

I don't just review food though, I do cook occasionally and when I do it is an event worthy of a blog. Two reasons for this: 1. I rarely cook. 2. When I do I don't mess around, it's a full on epicurean undertaking.

I also like to rant about the failings of humanity as it relates to food, love as it relates to food, and anything else that relates to food or the consumption of food.

In short, I am the next Food Blog Star because I live and breathe food, and love to share my experiences with anyone willing to read or listen.

Brian William Waddell is a foodie, beer geek, and author. His numerous blog posts range from food to politics. He also has a book of poetry, Fractured Prose, available here, and is ready to publish his second poetic endeavor.

Yes, I really did eat that

Everybody has seen something on TV or the internet that they just can't believe. A new entry in this category for me is the current Pizza Hut campaign for their Tuscani pastas and lasagna. I saw the commercials (often in fast forward thanks to DVR) and just couldn't fathom any Italian enjoying anything from Pizza Hut. (If you somehow haven't seen them, click here.) So I tried some. We ordered the lasagna and the chicken alfredo.

First impression of the lasagna: As visually appealing as the lasagna in my elementary school cafeteria. Even if a perfect piece was cut for me it would still look slightly inferior to Stouffer's frozen version. I'm not Italian, but have spent a little time in Tuscany and throughout Italy (and my dad makes the most robust and flavorful lasagna around), and I know that no Italian would ever be fooled into thinking this was authentic Tuscan cuisine, nor Italian of any kind for that matter. That's just from the look of it. I haven't even taken a bite yet.

One rule of thumb for food: If it doesn't look tasty it probably isn't. In this case that rule definitely held true. The lasagna was an amorphous mass of tomato sauce and limp noodles with a bland (even for ricotta) ricotta. The vaguely burned mozzarella on top made me regret ever thinking that I had been wrong, and maybe Italians actually went into a restaurant called "Tuscani" and felt this was a fair representation of lasagna. It also left me with a dry salty taste in my mouth which made me think preservatives.

The chicken alfredo (featured in an earlier commercial shot in New York) doesn't even warrant mention. But I will anyway. It was just plain bad. Bland sauce on floppy spiral noodles and maybe six ounces of chicken in the whole huge tray. Oh, and the same salty, parched sensation.

The commercials are clever in using the term "real people." This ambiguous statement makes you believe they aren't actors, while never stating either way.

Just another example of great advertising. Hey, it got me to try it.

Brian William Waddell is a foodie, beer geek, and author. His numerous blog posts range from food to politics. He also has a book of poetry, Fractured Prose, available here, and is ready to publish his second poetic endeavor.